ARE ALL THE CHILDREN IN?

 

Raymond Elliott

 

 When our children reached the age of sixteen and began to date, my wife and I began to stay awake later at night.  It was a new experience for us to see a son back out of the driveway in a relatively new car and wonder if either the son or the car would make it back home in one piece; or, to see our daughter being ushered by a young man to a waiting vehicle in the driveway.  We of course, made a number of mistakes in dealing with our children as they matured through their teenage years; however, here are some suggestions that will be beneficial both to parents and to teenagers

 

1.       Teach your children of the high moral standard of purity revealed in the Holy Scriptures.  This information will arm them against such sins as fornication and drunkenness.

 

2.       Keep the door of communication open between you and your children.  Parents must conduct themselves in such a manner as to motivate trust in the hearts of young people toward them.  The attitudes of self-righteousness, perfection and distrust will never get the door of communication opened in the first place.

 

3.       Do not condemn the whole child because of one mistake.  What if the Lord acted like many parents in this matter?  We would all stand condemned.

 

4.       Know the young person your son/daughter is dating.  You know that evil companionships corrupt good morals.

 

5.       Know where your young people are going on a date.  This is the parents’ right.  In case of an accident, you would be able to locate them easier.

 

6.       Know when they will return.  It may be old-fashioned but I believe that young people need rules and regulations in this area of their lives.  Surely, both parties involved can agree upon a suitable time.  It was a policy in our home that if a child was out later than expected a telephone call was to be forthcoming.  This would prevent a lot of worry on the part of the parents.

 

7.       Parents should trust their children unless and until proven otherwise.  Honesty and fairness in dealing with each other will contribute greatly to a mutual trust.

 

8.       Pray for the physical and spiritual welfare of your children.  Some parents manifest little, if any concern regarding their children’s dating habits and associates.  The providential care of the Heavenly Father is with His children as they live for Him.

 

9.       Parents must recognize the importance of setting the proper example before their children.  Young people quickly detect saying one thing and doing another.  If you tell your children not to drink alcoholic beverages, you had better set the proper example for them to emulate.

 

10.   Parents need to tell their teenagers that they love them.  Perhaps we all have seen the sign that asks, “Have you hugged your child today?”  There is no substitute for parental love.  If we truly love our children, we will not permit them to have their way all the time.  Solomon wrote, “He who spares his rod hates his son; But he that loves him disciplines him promptly” (Proverbs 13:24).

 

11.   Be willing to admit your mistakes.  We encourage our children to confess their wrongs, but parents are very slow to do the same when in the wrong.  It isn’t easy to say any time, “I’m sorry, I have made a mistake,” especially in regards to our children.  But if we will, our children will respect us for doing so.  Many parents project an attitude that they have never made a mistake and expect perfection from their children.

 

12.   There are two qualities needed among parents in the rearing of their children, especially teenagers.  They are patience and understanding.  Some parents are woefully lacking in both of these characteristics.  We cannot expect our children to mature in a short time.  During the years when a son/daughter is struggling to become an adult, scores of mistakes will be made.  They will face problems peculiar to this age.  That is when parents must learn to be patient and understanding.

 

13.   Remember that the material things of life are the least important.  We make a mistake by showering our children with everything they want.  Love, happiness, emotional stability, and a sense of security cannot be bought with a car, beautiful clothes and plenty of spending money.

 

14.   All your efforts to rear your children in the way of the Lord will bring happiness in later years.  It is then then you can truly say, “It has been worth it.”  If you plant a peach orchard, it takes years before you can enjoy the fruits of your labors.

 

Did you know that one of the sweetest sounds in the world is the opening and closing of a kitchen door?  Often at night, while waiting for the children to come home, my wife and I would be happy to hear them come in one at a time, opening and closing the kitchen door.  My wife would usually ask, “Are all the children in?” and I would say, “Yes, all the children are in.”  Then, we would close our eyes and go to sleep. 

 

By the grace of God, as we reach our heavenly home, and as the ceaseless ages roll by, it would be wonderful to be able to answer her question, “Are all the children in?” with an answer, “Yes, they are all in.”  Let us all make every effort to live right in obedience to God and carry our children with us to that place prepared for all the redeemed (John 14:1-3).